I Am Facebook

by Alecsandra Washburn

I am Facebook’s lack of insecurity.
It was a Friday. I was sipping mocha in Em Café with my best friend. I turned to her and said, “I’m going to take the bus to New York City for the weekend to see Ryan.” To the boy in skinny jeans sitting next to me this statement likely sounded normal.

She knew better. 
She knew I had never been to New York City.
She knew I had never met Ryan. 
She asked, “You’re going to get on a bus and go to a strange city you have never been to before to spend the weekend with someone you met on Facebook a year and a half ago?”

This is how two of my other friends reacted when told them.
Friend One, “You’re like Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail!”
Friend Two, “You’re going to get raped. You’re going to get raped, slashed, and dumped in the Hudson. I’ll start sending out the funeral e-vites.”
Response to friend Two, “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine!”
Friend Two, “You can’t know anything about this guy. You met him on Facebook. You don’t control Facebook.”

Friend Two is incorrect.

Rule #1 of Facebook: You have control.
In an interview with Tech Crunch, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg said, “People have not only gotten more comfortable sharing more information of more kinds, but also with more people, so long as they can control it.” Zuckerberg isn’t wrong. You, your friends, your parents, your professors, everyone is sharing more and more of themselves online. Facebook launched in the spring of 2004 with 6,000 original members. Since then the cyber world has been bombarded with updates telling us Joe K. is now single and Catey S. ate a blueberry bagel for breakfast. From life altering relationship changes to the minutia of breakfast choices, Facebook gives users a chance to share everything about themselves with their friends. This concept, instead of scaring away potential Facebook users, has harnessed in the masses. By the time summer 2010 wrapped up, Facebook boasted 500 million registered, individual Facebook profiles.

The huge numbers spike came amidst widespread media panic over Facebook’s so-called “inadequate” privacy settings. Facebook isn’t protecting its users. Facebook’s privacy controls aren’t clear enough. Facebook gives too much information to second and third party sources. Facebook caches too much of each user’s information. But somehow, Facebook grows at a rate of over 600,000 new users every single day.

If the world truly believed Facebook was in control of their cyber lives, and not the other way around, each of the site’s 500 million current users would delete their profiles in millisecond.

Go to your Facebook page right now. Click on ‘Application Settings’ in the top, right hand corner. Then select ‘Granted Additional Permissions’ from the drop down menu. The page not only tells you precisely what information you are sharing with precisely what second and third party sources, but also let’s you adjust it however you like. With a measly fifteen seconds of pointing and clicking, you just decided everything Facebook says about you.

I am Facebook’s curiosity.
Friends One and Two asked how I met my mysterious Facebook bff.

I first ‘met’ Ryan my senior year of high school. We both joined the same Facebook group. People within the group started friending each other. Because we were both members of this group, Ryan and I followed suit  (Hey! It was high school!). We started Facebook chatting. Within minutes we discovered that a) We both liked both the band called Cake and the food, b) We both enjoyed David Fincher movies, and c) We both sympathized with the political viewpoints expressed on The Daily Show.

Ryan and I kept chatting.

Rule #2 of Facebook: Friends create common interests.
Facebook’s 6,000 beta members all share one commonality. They were all Harvard University students in spring 2004. Zuckerberg quickly realized that his brainchild brought his university together on one website, a first. He proposed his new website might be popular on other college campuses too and, following up on his successes with the red line’s most prestigious school, Zuckerberg expanded his pet project to 40 other universities across the country. Facebook rapidly became cult phenomena among college students nationwide. Why? Exclusivity. Users needed a .edu address in order to join the site.

The site expanded again in 2005 to include high school students. Again, exclusivity and common interest was vital. Facebook spread like wildfire within the under 18 crowd. For a high school student to join Facebook another student must first confirm them. In a world where lacrosse captains govern, and the effect of gossip on students functions like an ever-changing line graph, Facebook was the perfect tool.

Facebook brought in the over 22 generation by adding company based networks shortly after inculcating high school students to the swiftly growing network. Soon your grandmother, your second cousin, your twelve year old sister, everyone you know, everyone you will ever know, and everyone you will never know will be on Facebook.

Despite the massive numbers increase over the past six years, and a constant urge to revolutionize in the cyberverse, the Facebook experience remains unchanged. Generally, people don’t use Facebook as a search engine for things they’ve never heard of.  You don’t join the site to look for new interests. You join because of an interest you already have. If you like The Strokes in real life you can ‘like’ them on Facebook. From there you can meet people who also like the band. But what’s more likely is that you will look and see how many of your friends already know all the words to Soma. Facebook makes users feel comfortable by providing them with what they already have, backing them up on what they already know.

I am Facebook’s unflinching bravery.
Numerous Facebook chat sessions and text messages, four or five phone calls, and a year and a half later, Ryan and I decided it was time to meet outside the safety of our net universe.

I got a roundtrip ticket to and from the big apple. At first I didn’t tell people. I couldn’t. The idea sounded crazy even as I was packing my bag the day before the trip.

I knew Ryan so well. Over a year and a half I had learned so much. His favorite movies, his favorite television shows, his dog’s names, his slightly sadistic sense of humor. Ryan had become one of my best friends, despite the distance. Using that twisted logic, why wouldn’t I go meet my best friend?

Friend Two, “You realize you just said ‘Meet my best friend’, right?”
Response to Friend Two, “But I already know him!”
Friend Two, “You know him on Facebook and somehow you feel comfortable meeting him in real life?”

In the last few days before my trip I thought a lot about what Friend Two had said. How could I know someone I had never met? How did Facebook make me feel comfortable enough to travel alone to a strange city to meet a strange person?

I thought over my conundrum on the bus to New York.

Rule #3 of Facebook: You have no reason not to be yourself.
Facebook is, at its core, an information aggregator. You input information; Facebook spits it out at whomever you tell it to. Then, Facebook takes this information and gives you new information. If you tell Facebook you love Cabbage Patch Dolls, Facebook spams your sidebar with advertisements about Cabbage Patch Dolls. You will be happy, because you will have learned how to acquire more Cabbage Patch Dolls. If you don’t love Cabbage Patch Dolls, don’t tell Facebook you love Cabbage Patch Dolls.

Users tell Facebook as much or as little as they like. The more you let Facebook know, the better it knows you and the better it can suggest things to you. Sure, Facebook sometimes slips up by suggesting your exes in the ‘People you Might Know’ app, but Facebook is right in telling you that you would probably like Torchwood because you listed Doctor Who in your ‘Favorite Television Shows’ box.

Facebook’s algorithms work hard to connect you with people not unlike yourself. The world’s largest social network (in amount of users the world’s third largest country) introduces you to books you might like to read, activities you might enjoy, people you should get to know, and people you already know that you should get to know better.

I am Facebook’s sigh of relief.
My bus was an hour and a half late getting to New York. The driver dropped us off on the wrong city block. I found myself standing alone on the corner of 37th waiting for my “friend”, and I started panicking.

“What if he’s actually 500 pounds and uses Photoshop for all of his profile photos?”
“What if he has an annoying verbal tick?”
“What if he dresses like someone on LATFH.com?”
“What if this ends like a Liam Neeson movie?”

Then I saw Ryan crossing the street. Instantly, I knew him. After all, I had stalked enough of his Facebook profile photos.
Those first five minutes were strange but fascinating. I knew so much about the person beside me but it was the first time I had seen him.

Five minutes later we were in a pizza joint and he was pretending to swallow my nose. Strangeness and fascination evaporated. My cyber best friend had suddenly become my new yet very old, real life, material best friend.

I could poke him without clicking my track pad.

The Final Rule of Facebook: You ARE Facebook.
How many times a day is there a blue header in the top of your web browser? In the app on your phone? Facebook has become an extension of what we are. We trust it because we made it and we use it all the time.

Without Facebook, without trusting the Facebook moto/interface/connecting goal, I would be down and out one best friend. Good thing I don’t live under a rock. What Zuckerberg told Tech Crunch is only half right. People are sharing information in more ways, but we aren’t sharing more information. We used to share with letters, emails, phone calls. 17th century poets shared information through circulating manuscripts. Now we can share by one click on a friend’s Facebook wall.

Technology is ever changing, but you aren’t.